As the years go on, I find talking to people extremely difficult and frustrating. There are so many types of people I genuinely do not enjoy interracting with, for example, normies, which is obviously a good overwhelming majority of people. I just find them to be so oblivious and never understanding of unorthodox beliefs, sometimes I get conflicted if I either wanted to just continue being an oblivious normie, or just still be a person who believes in unorthodox things (Misanthropy, Political Nihilism, Anti Social/Social Isolationism and Anti-Natalism), I mean yeah sure, I am more "awake" than these stupid normies will ever be, but I won't ever be as "happy" as the average oblivious normie. This also adds on to my social isolation, I don't know if it's a blessing or a curse, I generally hate talking to people but I also feel lonely, I'm very conflicted on this, I don't know how to feel, I mean, even the few friends I have, I feel as if they'd never truly ever understand me, and I've accepted this fact, nobody will ever fully understand me. Even people with unorthodox beliefs, they will not understand me, I mean, I be seeing other misanthropes and I always felt they're either too sympathetic or just performative... All in all, I accept I will never be able to have anyone else relate to me or fully understand me.